Dream³

He who does not know one thing knows another.
He who gets a name for early rising can stay in bed until midday.
He who has once burnt his mouth always blows his soup.
He who holds the ladder is as bad as the thief.
He who knows nothing, doubts nothing.

Good morning…
I had a dream last night… it repeated itself 3 times. O.o

I don think I am getting enough sleep.
The problem is that I don feel like sleeping when it is time to sleep and I can’t sleep when I have the time to do so… shesh~

Arts Central took my Inuyasha away!
Hellfire and Brimstone!
Not only that… Shaman King has also been axed… I know there are another 3 or so more episodes before the whole series is done… but noooo…. They changed the anime for that time slot…
RWAR!

Still waiting for CSI: Season 4 to come out at the shops…
-starts pacing the house-

Before I start tackling the rest of the day…
I strained my wrist at training last Wednesday.
I was holding the target for Kelvin and held it the wrong way… that previous method is fine as long as the person kicking it is not that strong…
Kelvin does not fall into that category… so now I have an injured knee + wrist.
No badminton for me for a while… argh~
Then again, I haven played in a very long time… oppz…

Chao for now~
^-^

2 day

He that seeks trouble never misses.
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
He who cannot agree with his enemies is controlled by them.
He who could foresee affairs three days in advance would be rich for thousands of years.

Training yesterday was not bad… except for the fact that my left knee was giving me problem and that my back-thurst + reverse kicks need LOTS of work…
Asked Mr. Chow about the results of the Nationals.
Kovan got overall 3rd place!
-waves pompoms all over the place-
Woohooo~
As for the individual results, he said that have to wait a round 2 weeks before they can have the rankings and what not… but 3rd place!
Wah~
First went to ACME followed by the Police. (if my memory serves me correctly)
Very happy for my CC :D

Today’s class was over run by crashers ala I.Is. ala illegal immigrants to my lecture.
The crazy thing is that today was the first time I was late for a lecture… shesh… almost could not find a seat lor… good thing Tanny was there. I did get to make a new friend though :)
Yang Mui could not make it due to her ankle…
Heya Yang Mui ah~
Hope you get well soon… shall pass you the notes when I next see you… ok?

On the way home, I started having a headache… it progressed until I could not hold my head up right… hurt until I decided not to go to cell group for the evening… gosh…
Took a nap right before dinner… felt a tad better… but now its coming back again… shesh~
So to bed I go and with open arms, I greet the morning… sleep in I shall…
Love my bed I do.
^-^

P.S. I wish my hair would grow faster ... grrr... can't stand the irritating stage xia~

Bad day songs

It's an ill wind that blows no good.
It's not a matter of upper and lower class but of being up a while and down a while.
Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come.

In agony I screamed for help and God answered my cries.
Thank You God.
Without You I would be totally lost.
He alone gave me the peace I needed.
One thing I have learnt though is that God does not give help right away… He does everything in His own time. Not mine. His.
Hard to remember but that knowledge fills me with hope.

I would be lying if I said that all the hope which was lost is back in full force. I am still trying to find that glimmer which is eluding me.
Having hope in finding hope.
-eye spin-
I would like to thank those who took the time to care.
You know who you are.
Thank You very much.

In the haze of pain, I do not remember all that has happened over the past two to three weeks, but I shall try ok?

The Liat Towers booth did quite well though it could have done a hack of a lot better had all the students turned up for the street selling.

15/8 - I crashed the training at Whampoh CC with Kelvin.
Makes me very thankful for the people at PLKCC… heh…

16/8 - Had Pot luck during cell group … I did the co-ordinating for the ‘event’… the food was good and everyone loved TKM’s cooking :D. The curry by Kimi’s daddy rocks! Heeeheee… now wondering when the next pot luck will be… haha~

18/8 - Went to AWWA to count the money collected over the past few weeks… gives one a whole new perspective on the concept of handling money.
Money is the dirtiest thing in society… both literally and figuratively.
We counted until we almost lost the meaning of numbers.
-eye spin again-
That same day, Yilinn and I rushed down to RSYC with Nurul and Choon Kiat for the theory revision class… by the time the class ended, took the mrt and walked home… it was pass mid-night…
The Power Boat Theory class the next day was terrible.
Let’s just say that: When it rains; it f***ing pours.
Spent quite a bit of time in depressed mode… coz of the avalanche which followed the test…

20/8 – Went to work in the morning and rushed home in order to rush to Kovan to meet Long Jie for the Sentosa job… He was kind enough to give me the lobang for the event that day… managed to earn some money… Shi Min was there as well… so long never see her ah~ Her hair now very the long lo… one day maybe my hair will be the same length… Made new friends at the event… Singapore is too small xia… they also know my squad mates… it was fun all the same… though not much can be said about the kiasu nature of Singaporeans… that in its extreme form, which I saw that day is one of the things which makes me want to cover my nationality… oh well…Had a lot of fun all the same. Those hours spent at the beach event made me forget my problems. :)

20/8 – I did not go to church…
I was depressed, tired and just plain sick of everything, so since I was not scheduled to be in-charge of anything, I messaged the relevant people, left a note for my parents so that they would not wake me up and slept in. Shiok ah~
Went to get my new stock of contact lenses and went off to training that afternoon… the only thing that seemed to be going right for me during that period of darkness.
Can kick all that stress away… haha…

21/8 – Didn’t attend training at the SIM grounds coz I was very wasted and YKM asked me not to coz my gi was very dirty from training at the cc on Sunday. I missed out on the sparring session, but from what I hear, I think it was a good idea that I did not turn up… the guys all got injured… in one place or another… Kelvin was the most injured of the lot… thanks to Adrian… Desmond and Hakim also rather jiat lut…

24/8 – Day of exercise:
Went swimming with Siya in the morning.
Had lunch with her as well.
She practically made my day with one of her comments. ^-^
Thanks ah Siya~
Got home, took a nap and then went for training at the SIM then on to Kovan.
Last day of training for the people who were up for bouts at the Nationals.
Over strained my left knee that night, it is still hurting me now… shesh~
Oh yah! On the way home with Alfred and Hui Fen, we came across a burping cat.
We stood there and counted.
10 times in a row. O.o

26/8 – the team was supposed to have a meeting with Erica, but she cancelled on us in the morning… but we carried on as planned and did the report together. We finished rather later… after which I rushed down to SRJC for the full-dress rehearsal… the opening night is next Tuesday… oh how time flies… but I am looking forward to watch the monkeys on stage in their costumes XD

27/8 – Work in the morning, met up with Eileen and Glann, went to Dan’s house for lunch, met up with Swee Shoon and we all went to the Yishun Sports stadium for the TKD Nationals.
Chi Foong and Ken also went.
The experience of watch the Nationals is something I will not soon forget.
To see all those people sparring and most of them getting injured in the process makes me want to question my sparring capabilities…
Ran into Ling ling and Sandy while I was there.
I totally forgot that Sandy is a black-belter… sadly I din get the chance to ask her which club she is with… didn’t get to talk much with her in the first place coz we were walking in different directions. -.-lll
Haha~
Eileen, Glann and Ken left early and that left me, SS and CF to bow out at about 6.30pm in order to get to AMK for dinner and finally home after that long day.

28/8 – Oh how I wished I could have been in Yishun watching the bouts instead of being in church.
Yeah yeah… I know its not becoming of me to say that, but honestly.
Nationals only takes place once a year and I go to church every Sunday.
Then again, yesterday was my region’s family day and we were all scheduled to go Roland restaurant for lunch and fellowship.
So, had it not been for the food (which I had already paid for), I would have blown off church (again) and made my way to Yishun to support the Kovan and SP exponents.
I had thought of making for Yishun after the lunch, but the event ended at 4.30pm odd… I reasoned that by the time I reached the complex, the whole thing would have finished… so I went to PLKCC instead to do my teaching instead… I wonder how the bouts went…
Have to ask Sir later when I go for training… heh~

I suppose you could say that the following song is my theme song for the past few weeks… the music video is feel good towards the end.

Daniel Powter – Bad Day

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day


The other ‘bad day’ song… I usually have this one in my head when I start thinking of horrendous days…

Fuel – Bad Day

I had a bad day again
She said I would not understand
She left a note that said I’m sorry, i
I had a bad day again

She spilled her coffee broke a shoelace
Smeared the lipstick on her face
Slammed the door and said I’m sorry, i
I had a bad day again

And she swears there’s nothing wrong
I hear her playing that same old song
She puts me up and puts me on
I had a bad day again

She said I would not understand
She left a note and said I’m sorry i
I had a bad day again
Nooo...

And she swears there’s nothing wrong
I hear her playing that same old song
She puts me up and puts me on
Oh I had a bad day again

She said I would not understand
She left a note that said I’m sorry, i
I had a bad day again
She left a note that said I’m sorry, i
I had a bad day
Nooo
Nooo
Nooo
Nooo
Alright
Oooooo
Ohhh


This keeps me going:
In the end, everything will be ok.
If everything is not ok, it’s not the end.
^-^

Straws that broke me

Life's not all beer and skittles.

This state is not the caused by just one situation but it is the culmination of a few issues.
I would write about my problems but there are just some things which can not be written here even though I would feel better getting it out of my system.
What is left is to keep everything inside instead, and since there is no one to turn to, all that I can do is cry.
Thank you to those who made me forget my problems... even if it was for only a while.
Better than nothing right?
It's hard to praise God when it hurts this bad.

Someone please tell me that everything's going to be ok.
I am losing hope.
The light is far from reach.
People are hurting me and I've got no one to turn to.
Who would understand?
I don't believe that I am alone but it feels that way.
Someone please help me.
Nothing's going right.
It's too much to handle.
I just want to sleep and not wake up.
Maybe a bout of crying will help me.
Maybe.

From CP to LT

He that lives on hope will die fasting.
He that maketh haste to be rich shall not be innocent.
He that marries for money will earn it.
He that plants thorns must never expect to gather roses.

Horror of horrors!
My dad just asked me “How come you so good today never go out ah?
Mine gwad!
How and when did it come to this?
Gosh~

AWesome WAymakers was supposed to have a meeting with Erica and John yesterday, but due to schedule clashes, only the core group met up to get the administrative matters straightened out.
The meeting was to be at Suntec’s Burger King at noon.
We finished around 4 odd, walked out of BK and Swee Shoon, Yilinn and myself ended up having free facials from Silk Pro… hahaha…
The facial was supposed to be worth 50 bucks…but it felt less than 20 at the least… what I am thankful for is that the nice xiao jie who washed my face understood my woes of not having enough money to buy the products… heh… I did not buy the products but I got free stuff instead… buah hahaha…

The class at Potong Pasir was smaller than the last time I was there, but this time, I had to give a few of the kids a major scolding …I tip my hat off to Mr. Chow for being able to take that class single handedly…

Rest does not come by very often so today I shall cherish the time which I am able to have at home with my family.
Went to the market just now with TKM to do our overdue grocery shopping… even the auntie at the shop was asking why we had not gone to buy stuff from her for so long -.-lll
The consolation is that when school starts and , God willing, I keep my current timetable, I will be able to send time with TKM at the market on a regular basis.

Oh I forgot to mention in my previous post… on Monday Swee Shoon and I had to rush down to Centre Point to bring the booth materials back to AWWA in preparation for this weekend’s booth and because its not very nice to leave ‘alien’ items at that venue for too long when they re the ones who are supporting us.
Anyway, SS and I took the MRT and rushed down to CP in record time. On the way there, I met Marvin and Margaret. If I am not wrong, they went back to SRJC for the National Day celebrations. It was good to see them again, Margaret is looking more and more like Mrs. Lim… haha… I have a feeling that if Margaret reads that last sentence she is going to come after me with a huge roll of newspaper… hahaha

SS and I set a record in getting all the stuff from CP to AWWA and I got the chance to sit in a London Cab!
Wah… it is very nice to sit inside a London cab… I don mean to sound sua ku… but its very ‘hwah’ and totally worth the money if more than 5 people intend to go somewhere together… I even saw an advertisement in the cab stating that the cab could be rented for weddings… wow… so interesting!

I think I shall just stop here for today… need to conserve energy for the rest of the weekend… the final booth days will be held at Liat Towers.
Do come down and see us. It would mean a lot to all of us there. :D

Sharon… over and out… for now
^-^

Results for my 4th grading ^-^

He who has health, has hope; and he who has hope, has everything.
He that can't endure the bad will not live to see the good.
He that is born to be hanged shall never be drowned.
He that is rich will not be called a fool.

Happy 40th Birthday to Singapore!
I love fireworks! One day I will get to see the NDP… one day… some day… not that soon I think… haha… but man do I love fireworks~

The grading results are finally out!
I am now a blue belter!!!!
Woohooo~
DOUBLE PROMOTION!!!!!
-does the dance of crazy joy-
Praise and thank God!
Woohoooo~

Since I said I would write down the details I shall…but they are kind of fuzzy coz it’s been so long since the 10th of July…
ALAMAK!
It’s been a whole month!
-faints-

Now the question is: where do I start?
-grows deep in thought-

Something random:
“The silent scream of pain which rings throughout time and only reaches those who care to open up enough to feel the stabs which can kill...”

Ok!
Grading had me in a bunch of nerves this time round coz of the imminent sparring and the fact that I am always put in charge of the grading cards with relation to PLKCC. That job of handing out grading cards is a real tough one. The fate of the person’s grading lies in your hands. (Whether you think that is a good thing or not, I shall leave that up to you…) I also did some house cleaning for the hall before the start of grading coz the place was so darn dirty. Dan even started calling me ‘maid’ names… -,-lll Funny all the same lah~
All the rushing around made me forget that I had a grading to do, and I almost did not get to do my pattern and sparring. O.olll
When I was in line waiting for my turn, I started looking for a suitable partner for my sparring - done for self-preservation purposes. I happened to pick this guy who is younger than I and is currently in secondary school. I made friends with him and told him straight what I intended to do during the sparring. Had a feeling that he was just as anxious about the sparring as I was; I was in fact doing him a favor by partnering him.
If I am not wrong, my words were: ok ah~ show, show only ok? I will kick above the belt but I will try my best not to hit you.
Did that make sense?
Anyway, I assumed that that the same would go for his actions/reactions towards my movements during the sparring… but noooooooo~
The moment the commander gave the command to start sparring, the boy came right me in full force and I have bruises to testify to that energy of his. Good thing I worse my leg guards. *phew*
Not only was I shocked, I was kinda… actually, rather if not, very pissed with the fact that he did not return the favor I was doing for him. Further more, when I asked him what the hack he was up to when he was kicking me, he just smiled at me and continued the kicking.
-image of smoke coming out of Sharon’s ears flashes across the screen-
Needless to say, I was angry, so I did the first thing that came to mind – I returned the kicks, measure for measure.
-evil laughter-
Wanna know what happened to that boy?
Ask me in person.
-more evil laughter-
The rest of the day went as per routine, but ended with me showing Yong Jet around my ‘di pan’. Haha~
So I guess that’s about it for my 4th grading… I don remember that much at the moment… sorry lah… bad memory storage -.-lll

Since so much time has passed since I last posted… I shall bring out the highlights instead.
Went to the doctor on Wednesday morning – due to my fainting fit spell and because I had to get a paper signed for my power boat license.
Had a booth in SRJC selling the bookmarks on Friday.
Completed my theory classes for my boat license… now have to study for the test which is coming up very soon. X.xlll
My boat practical was completed on Saturday; resultantly I am sunburned – rather badly. My instructor tasked me if I was allergic to sea water… O.olll
Rushed round like crazy for the sake of the YFC project.
Was in charge of the street sales at East Coast park on Sunday. Am proud of myself for managing things on my own and I even had time to go and help with training at Kovan. Mr Chow is in Genting for meeting lah~
Took the class at S.I.M. with help from Desmond :) I need more experience… heh…
Watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Dan, Eileen and Hui fen on National Day :D
Went back to SRJC on yesterday to help out with the literature production.
Had training just now at Kovan and ran the class with Chi Foong. The same for the Potong Pasir class tonight~ I could not make it for the SIM class coz I would not have enough time to rash from venue to venue…such is life~

My boat driving was a blast!
I love driving.
The only problem is that I can’t seem to do the saving of MOB – man overboard, and berthing. Sad situation, very sad… I wanna have more time on the water to practice…I honestly don think that one lesson is enough to get used to doing those drills. Argh~ now I wonder if I can talk Capt. Jon into letting us have more goes that the boat…
-starts planning angle of attack-
Hahaha…
Another thing about boating, I don get sea sick when I am on the water… I feel the effects when I am on shore after spending so much time on the water… I was literally swaying in front of my computer screen that night when I got home… so not only was I hurting from my sunburn, I was on the verge of puking onto my keyboard coz I was bobbing around my house… o.-lll

I enjoy taking class for Mr. Chow, but the only thing I don like about doing that is the very simple outcome of me not being able to train my own body.
I spend all the time giving others instructions and I don get to kick my target… *sigh*
Opportunity cost… what to do?

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is a beautiful show.
I salute Tim Burton for his work and cringe at the creepiness which is Willy Wonka looking like far too much like MJ and the OL people all being the same guy…. The end part was the biggest shocker… for me anyway… haha…
Would I watch it again: I’ll think about it….depends on who jios me to watch it… haha…
Would I buy the VCD: hmm… that is a good question… I’ll have to see if I have the cash for it… I don mind, but I am running into the red section with regards to my wallet at the moment and no one can tell the future when it comes to money… right?

The biggest irony of my holiday this year is that I burnt out many times.
I get burned during my holidays instead of during the school term which just passed… shesh~
I guess it mainly due to the YFC project and all the other things which kept popping out all over the place… I din even get to do the one thing I wanted to accomplish during the 3 month interval – driving and getting my road license. -.-lll i was so packed and wasted to the bone that I did not have the opportunity to make the trip down to a driving centre to get a conversion for my PDL and sign up for my advanced theory exam…
-face palm-
One day! Some day! I shall drive my own car! One day! I am sure of it!
-faints-

Alright! My eye-lids are getting heavier by the second … time to go… my pillow awaits my head…
Sweet dreams when you get there guys~
-hugs-

Had a fit

Give neither counsel nor salt till you are asked for it.
God gives the nuts, but he doesn't crack them.
God heals, and the physician takes the fee.
Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat.
Good advice is often annoying, bad advice never.
Good as drink is, it ends in thirst.
Half a loaf is better than none.

Not much time on my hands for a long one…

Friday – Went to AWWA to meet Ms Fung, had a successful sponsor meeting (had to power dress for it), rushed down to SRJC for the Literature production over night thing. I could not stay, though I wish I could have.
Saturday – Went to work, rushed to Waterways Watch Society AGM, saw the army tracks and such *hwah*, was late for Eileen’s party, hitched a ride home with Hui Fen. :)
Sunday – Taught at BCM, took a cab to Centre Point to set up the booth, went home by cab with Swee Shoon, slept at 10pm.
Monday – Woke up at 9.15am odd, felt sick the whole day, went for power boat theory class at W³S, almost fainted during class… a minor fit of sorts plus a lot of cold sweat. o.olll
Today – My first day of the new school year, first POA lecture, miss cell group due to not feeling well…

Sumpa!
I promise to go to the doctor tomorrow morning.

Choop!
I will also be making trips to SRJC, SIM, PLKCC, W³S, RSYC, Centre Point, church and maybe even ECP from tomorrow onwards till Sunday.
I hope my health can hold out.

Hurrah!
The tag board is working!

Kimi:"Prayed for u during cell. Need any help or so, let me know"
Thanks Me! :D

The joy of the Lord is my strength!
^-^

Something I was thinking about...

"My name is Paul Millander. I reside at 13891 Sand Creek Road. I'm 46 years of age and I'm going to kill myself. I'd like to say 'I love you' to my mother, Isabelle."
-- Paul Millander's suicide tape (Identity Crisis)

I’m so sorry; I never wanted to put you through this… I just can’t do it anymore. I’ve lost hope...